“While it's certainly true that raising children is a big job and certainly has emotional resonance, it's really hard to intellectually justify the belief that you're adding something important to the world by adding more people to pollute the planet and compete for opportunities that become more precious as the number of people vying for a chance grows.”

“The more I added to my schedule, cleaning regimen, or athletic training, the less I felt. My coping mechanism won most people's approval. Adults were unusually impressed. Who doesn't like a kid with a serious work ethic? One of my biggest flaws turned into my best asset. A hard worker. Determined. Unstoppable. Tireless.”

“If you're already a front-end developer, well, pretend you're also wearing a pirate hat.”

“I started zipping up my pants when something occurred to me. "I'm wearing a purple thong." "You're wearing a purple thong?" Jack raised an eyebrow, but since I was drunk, I couldn't read on his emotions. I didn't know if it was an intrigued I'd-like-to-see-more eyebrow, or a disapproving you're-a-huge-slut eyebrow. "Yeah. Wanna see?”

“People don't understand us. They don't understand me. They think it's so black and white, that he makes me miserable and that I should be with someone else and that I deserve something else. But it's not black and white at all. It's gray. It's a never ending world of gray.”

“When something is important to you, you make sure its safe.”

“You stupid, conceited fool! You know nothing! You're like a child, blind to everything but its own empty stomach! Well, grow up, Carl, and join the real world. Until you do, for God's sake leave me be!”