“Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.”

“Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.”

“Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.”

“Inhumanity, n. One of the signal and characteristic qualities of humanity.”

“diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.”

“Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.”

“optimism, n. The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong. It is held with greatest tenacity by those most accustomed to the mischance of falling into adversity, and is most acceptably expounded with disproof - an intellectual disorder, yielding to no treatment but death. It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.”