“Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence.”

“God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past.”

“GRAPESHOT, n. An argument which the future is preparing in answer to the demands of American Socialism.”

“Bigamy, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.”

“Acquaintance: "A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.”

“Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.”

“HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.”