“Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.”

“AMNESTY, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.”

“ABSTAINER, n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.”

“NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.”

“acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.”

“Religion, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.”

“MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.”