“DOG: A kind of additional or subsidiary Diety designed to catch the overflow or surplus of the world's worship.”

“The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.”

“Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something he can see and feel.”

“Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.”

“HOMICIDE, n. The slaying of one human being by another. There arefour kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, andpraiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slainwhether he fell by one kind or another -- the classification is foradvantage of the lawyers.”

“ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.”

“Mammon, n. The god of the world's leading religion. His chief temple is in the city of New York”