“FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.”

“Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue”

“Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no gills.”

“AMNESTY, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.”

“Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.”

“Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.”

“ABSTAINER, n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.”