“HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.”

“ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.”

“Clarinet n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.”

“Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.”

“VOTE, n. The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.”

“Humanity, n. The human race, collectively, exclusive of the anthropoid poets.”

“Inhumanity, n. One of the signal and characteristic qualities of humanity.”