“Immigrant: An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.”

“An ambassador is a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given an office by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.”

“HOMICIDE, n. The slaying of one human being by another. There arefour kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, andpraiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slainwhether he fell by one kind or another -- the classification is foradvantage of the lawyers.”

“diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.”

“Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.”

“Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.”

“ABSTAINER, n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.”