“Marriage, n.: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.”

“I have two masters: laziness and ambition. Laziness is muscular, and ambition is brainy. When the two masters fight it out, guess who wins? That’s right, the slaves do.”

“It takes two to make a marriage work and two to make it fall apart.”

“Miss, n. A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense. Two are corruptions of Mistress, the other of Master. In the general abolition of social titles in this our country they miraculously escaped to plague us. If we must have them let us be consistent and give one to the unmarried man. I venture to suggest Mush, abbreviated to Mh.”

“There are two covenants that cease to exist in the Master's Kingdom - death and marriage.""What an appropriate pairing," I muse."He thought so.”

“He didn't have a single clue what was going on with these two strangers, but every instinct told him Master George equaled good, Mistress Jane equaled bald- he blinked-uh, bad. ”