“Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue”

“Education, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.”

“FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.”

“MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.”

“Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.”

“Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.”

“DISOBEDIENCE, n. The silver lining to the cloud of servitude.”