Ambrose Bierce - “Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of...”

“Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.”

Ambrose Bierce The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

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“Self-evident, adj. Evident to one's self and to nobody else.”

Ambrose Bierce The Devil's Dictionary

“Blusterous -- adj. a word used to describe those Atmospheric Conditions in which one's ears are adversely affected {and possibly one's house}.”

A.R. Melrose Winnie the Pooh: The Pooh Dictionary

“TRUTHFUL, adj. Dumb and illiterate.”

Ambrose Bierce The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

“Leave the star on top," said an achingly gentle, deep voice. "There's already one angel in the room.”

Judith McNaught Double Standards

“Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.”

Ambrose Bierce The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary