“Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.”

“Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.”

“LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure.”

“HOMICIDE, n. The slaying of one human being by another. There arefour kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, andpraiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slainwhether he fell by one kind or another -- the classification is foradvantage of the lawyers.”

“Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is.Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable.Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.”

“Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.”

“Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.”