“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”

“Think twice before you speak to a friend in need”

“Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.”

“You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.”

“You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.”

“Litigation – A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.”

“Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.”