“Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.”

“ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.”

“HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.”

“Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something he can see and feel.”

“Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.”

“MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.”

“Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.”