“The covers of this book are too far apart.”

“Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull”

“Twice – Once too often.”

“Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.”

“Scriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.”

“AMNESTY, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.”

“Conversation: A fair for the display of the minor mental commodities, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own wares to observe those of his neighbor.”