“The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forbearance among men.”

“Self-evident, adj. Evident to one's self and to nobody else.”

“You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.”

“Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.”

“Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.”

“Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.”

“Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.”