“You look like death eating a soda cracker.”

“... Hey, I didn't know you didn't like baloney."I went cold. "I don't like it. I never liked it."Soda just looked at me. "You used to eat it. That's why you wouldn't eat anything while you were sick. You kept saying you didn't like baloney, no matter what it was we were trying to get you to eat.""I don't like it," I repeated.”

“Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?”

“When we passed a Catholic church, I recalled, he said, "You think your dad's a good chemist? They're turning soda crackers into meat in there. Can your dad do that?”

“It's like Brad Pitt for us. You might not like blond men with pretty features, but c'mon, it's Brad. You're not going to kick him out of bed for eating crackers.”

“The safe and cultural method of eating crackers in bed is to wear a diver's suit instead of pajamas.”