“Once I've been told that college is fun, a mixture of education and pleasure. I really don't understand where the F did they brought this conclusion from.”

“This episode of my life is brought to you by the letters W, t, and F. I do not understand.”

“Once in a while it really hits people that they don't have to experience the world in the way they have been told to.”

“College is fun as long as you don't die.”

“Who told you I've been losing?""You did!""Well, THERE'S your trouble! I've been lyin'!"--Ron Shawver and his Mom from The Great Northern Coven”

“Fellows of colleges do not always find money matters easy to understand: if they did, they would probably not have been the sort of men who become Fellows of colleges.”

“The problem, as I see it, is that you've been told and not told. You've been told, but none of you really understand, and I dare say, some people are quite happy to leave it that way.”