“Mostly, he said, I've been thinking about what I'm not going to do. When I think of the last few years, I've been hounded by regrets for what's already happened and fears for what might. By nostalgia for what I've lost and desire for what I don't have. All this wanting and not wanting. It's worn me out. For once, I'm going to try the present on for size. -Amor Towles from Rules of Civility”

“..I've been trying to argue myself into thinking these things don't matter, A. Really,I have. But I've lost the argument. And I can't keep having it, when I know what the real answer is.”

“You never know what's going to happen. You have to have faith. All the heartache I've felt is worth it. I've met Roger and I'm willing to risk the heartache because, not only do I think he's worth it, but I'm worth it.”

“Because I want to see. I've got to know what's going to happen while I'm still enough in control to be able to do something about it.”

“It's not about you, okay? This time, it's about me. Not you. All my life, Lissa... all my life, it's been the same. They come first. I've lived my life for you. I've trained to be your shadow, but you know what? I want to come first. I need to take care of myself for once. I'm tired of looking out for everyone else and having to put aside what I want. Dimitri and I did that, and look what happened. He's gone. I will never hold him again. Now I owe it to him to do this. I'm sorry if it hurts you, but it's my choice!”

“Okay, I'm going to be completely honest here." I take a deep breath, because what I'm about to say is very real and more honest than I've ever been. "I don't want to be away from you for that long.”