“I shall be your guide through the fields of frantic holiday shoppers. You will come to depend on me. I'll be your Sherpa through the human mountain, your faithful Saint Bernard, guiding you through the shopping Alps, your Strider, hauling your poor hobbit ass through the perils of Middle Earth-""My Gollum, prepared to dump my hobbit ass in the volcano," Hank finished, although it was hard because he was fighting laughter with every word.”

“Just relax and breathe through your ass.”

“What I envy most about you and everyone else heading back to school is the certainty of it all. You’ve got a prescribed set of requirements to guide you through the next few years. Focus your energy on the completion of those assignments and you’ll succeed. Guaranteed. Where’s my syllabus to guide me through life?”

“So lately, I've been wonderin,Who will be there to take my placeWhen I'm gone, you'll need loveTo light the shadows on your face...And maybe, I'll find out The way to make it back somedayTo watch you, to guide you Through the darkest of your days”

“I was looking for an excuse to slap my handcuffs on you and haul your ass back to my place.”

“While you are on your mountain over there climbing and facing the difficulties, I am not at the top of your mountain or mine. I am climbing on my mountain facing my own challenges or obstacles, but because of training and my perspective over here, I may be able to warn you and coach you through some of the obstacles you face on your mountain.”