“I'm pretty sure that eating chocolate keeps wrinkles away because I have never seen a 10 year old with a Hershey bar and crows feet.”

“In fact, I was a kind of Hershey Bar whore - there wasn't much I wouldn't do for a nickel's worth of chocolate.”

“A rooster crows only when it sees the light. Put him in the dark and he'll never crow. I have seen the light and I'm crowing.”

“From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 10 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away.”

“Strength is the capacity to break a Hershey bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces.”

“December tastes like Hershey's Kisses. The month of December and those little Hershey's Kisses candies are connected in a way that I can't quite articulate. For me, at least. I do know that eating a Hershey's Kiss is like an act of communion - like taking a tiny taste of December into myself. I don't like to eat them at other times of the year, because I don't want that special association to fade.”