“He’s wearing a totally normal T-shirt from the mall or whatever, but it hangs on him like the shirt has fulfilled its sole mission in life.”

“Normally it makes me really happy to see, not just that they’re in love but that love like that is possible. Right now, though, I just kind of want to throw water on them.”

“So many people are so good at so many things. Right now I'm lucky we're supposed to smile during the curtain call, because I'm so happy this is the thing I'm good at.”

“You think you know how you'll react to anything and then a boy shows up and kisses you, and some of that just vanishes.”

“Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt then burned it.”

“He isn't wearing a shirt.... He shouldn't just walk around like that; it's obscene to have to look at someone so perfect. He should do the world a favor and eat a donut or two.”

“I judge people based solely on the quality of bands on the black concert t-shirts they wear.”