“Byelorussian songs, if you've ever heard them are slightly monotonous, even mournful yet they do have a certain melancholy charm and compassion about them.”

“... The women's song was always the same, as monotonous as the beating of the waves against the beach: loss, loss. The conch offered them no enchantment. When they put their ear to it, all they heard was the echo of their mourning.”

“This chapter is about the dieter's philosophy of food, and it will repeat a lot of things you've heard before. However, you've heard them before because they make sense, and you're still fat because you ignored them. Now is the time to change that.”

“Have you ever heard somebody sing some lyrics that you've never sung before, and you realize you've never sung the right words in that song? You hear them and all of a sudden you say to yourself, 'Life in the Fast Lane?' That's what they're saying right there? You think, 'why have I been singing 'wipe in the vaseline?' how many people have heard me sing 'wipe in the vaseline?' I am an idiot.”

“Charm is getting people to say "yes" without ever having to ask them a question.”

“Those are the most monotonous fuckin' crickets I ever heard in my life.”