“It is better to be pissed off than to be pissed on”

“Enjoy the silence, because one wrong action cost more than a million words.”

“There is nothing more potentially hostile than the indigenous ego interpreting the laws of his conqueror upon his own people”

“My English teacher has no face. She has uncombed stringy hair that droops on her shoulders. The hair is black from her part to her ears and then neon orange to the frizzy ends. I can't decide if she had pissed off her hairdresser or is morphing into a monarch butterfly. I call her Hairwoman.”

“That's to British," I countered."What is?""Making sweeping generalizations about Americans because that makes you feel better about having a national inferiority complex the size of the Atlantic Ocean. I was just trying to be helpful, but if folding your pizza threatens you sense of patriotism, you probably shouldn't do it.”

“That church . . . it reminds me of one in downtown Chicago. Do you remember? That beautiful one with the courtyard near the Drake."Jeremy took a newspaper from a stack behind him and sat across from me. "I know the one you're talking about, but that church," he gestured out the window, "is older than America."I sighed. "Of course it is. Did I really just try to compare British and American architecture? How insensitive of me.”

“How about I give you a hin instead?""Sure. I'm sure a hint's all I need anyway.""You think you're pretty smart then?" he said, his voice somewhere between playful and cocky."I only have to be smarter than you think I am, right?""...well now I'm in a position where I have to make it impossibly hard if I don't want to insult you. That wasn't smart at all.""Oh, wow, just give me the hint already.”