“Whoever said the soul and the body met in the pineal gland was a fool. It's the asshole, stupid.”

“Keep close the words of Syadasti: 'TIS AN ILL WIND THAT BLOWS NO MINDS. And remember that there is no tyranny in the State of Confusion. For further information, consult your pineal gland.”

“Whoever said that childhood is the happiest time of your life is a liar, or a fool.”

“Still, to paraphrase what John Stuart Mill said about the stupidity of the Tories, while not all people who claim to be politically incorrect are assholes, it's exactly the sort of thing an asshole is apt to say. (183)”

“Whoever said love conquers all was a fool. Because almost everything conquers love - or tries to.”

“Whatever the reason, if you've been overweight, studies show that your body tends to stimulate your appetite more than the body of someone who's always been thin, and it simultaneously signals the body to protect fat stores. In other words, your bastard subconscious and those stupid fucking glands are conspiring against you.”