“The nutritionist said I should eat root vegetables.Said if I could get down thirteen turnips a dayI would be grounded, rooted.Said my head would not keep flying awayto where the darkness lives. The psychic told me my heart carries too much weight.Said for twenty dollars she’d tell me what to do.I handed her the twenty. She said, “Stop worrying, darling.You will find a good man soon.” The first psycho therapist told me to spendthree hours each day sitting in a dark closetwith my eyes closed and ears plugged.I tried it once but couldn’t stop thinkingabout how gay it was to be sitting in the closet. The yogi told me to stretch everything but the truth.Said to focus on the out breath. Said everyone finds happinesswhen they care more about what they givethan what they get. The pharmacist said, “Lexapro, Lamicatl, Lithium, Xanax.” The doctor said an anti-psychotic might help meforget what the trauma said. The trauma said, “Don’t write these poems.Nobody wants to hear you cryabout the grief inside your bones.” But my bones said, “Tyler Clementi jumpedfrom the George Washington Bridgeinto the Hudson River convincedhe was entirely alone.” My bones said, “Write the poems.”

“The trauma said, ‘Don’t write these poems.Nobody wants to hear you cry about the grief inside your bones.”

“I'm serious. She asked me what my greatest strength was. I said getting along with people.""That's not bad," I admitted."Then she asked what my greatest weakness was. And I said, 'Where should I start?""Adrian!""Stop saying my name like that. I told her the truth. By the time I was on the fourth one, she told me I could go."I groaned and resisted the urge to beat my head on the steering wheel.”

“They held me and told me everything would be fine, that sadness would rise from our bones and evaporate in sunlight the way morning fog burned off the river in summer. My mother rubbed the kites on my hands and arms and told me to think of my lungs as balloons.I just want to feel safe, I said.”

“I don't suppose," I said, once we were in the car, "that she just gave you the job based on looks alone?" Adrian had been staring off but now flashed me a big smile. "Why, Sage, you sweet talker." "Thats not what I meant! What happened?" He shrugged. "I told the truth." "Adrian!" "I'm serious. She asked me what my greatest strength was. I said getting along with people." "Thats not bad," I admitted. "Then she asked what my greatest weakness was. And I said, 'Where should I start?'" "Adrian!" "Stop saying my name like that. I told her the truth. By the time I was on the fourth one, she told me I could go.”

“I don't suppose that she gave you the job based on looks alone?"Adrian had been staring off but now flashed me a big smile. "Why, Sage, you sweet talker.""That's not what I meant! What happened?"He shrugged. "I told the truth.""Adrian!""I'm serious. She asked me what my greatest strength was. I said getting along with people.""That's not bad." I admitted."Then she asked what my greatest weakness was. And I said, 'Where should I start?'""Adrian!""Stop saying my name like that. I told her the truth. By the time I was on the fourth one, she told me I could go.”