“And when I have that feeling, that feeling like I need a handout, desperate, I want to pull my skin off and turn into dust.I want to throw myself back to the angels and tell them to start over,start over without me cause you put the screws in loose, you put the hinges in wrong.”

“You know why you keep losing, 'cause, guess what, you're a fucking loser.”

“What’s three?” I asked, hoping to move away from this uncomfortable topic.The smile pulled at his lips again.“Three.” One of his hands cupped my face and the other slid around my back. He pulled my body against his and my heart began to pound. I took advantage of my free hand and pushed at his chest.“I don’t think so, Lily,” he said. “If you want to get rid of me, you’ll need to do better than that.”I drew a sharp breath and tried to wiggle away, but he held me firmly in place, watching me struggle. He grinned as he lifted me up onto the sink.“What are you doing?” I started to panic. “Someone could come in!”“If they see us, they’ll just turn around and get out of here,” he murmured, lips touching my ear. “No one crosses me.”His hips pressed against my knees, opening them, pushing my skirt up my legs. I gripped his shirt, clinging to him so I wouldn’t fall into the sink. His hand pushed into my lower back. I gasped as his body fitted against mine.Heat flooded my chest, my pelvis. I thought I would drown in it.“We can’t—” His lips stopped my words. The kiss just made me dizzier. I dug my fingers into his shoulders.“You said you didn’t want to be left alone.” His tongue flicked over my cheekbone. “This is me pestering you.”“Aren’t you breaking the rules?” I could barely get the words out. “What about the union?”“I’d rather have you on my own terms.” His hand slipped between my thighs.All strength fled my limbs. “I can’t breathe.”“That means you like it.” He kissed me again.”

“This is where you belong, Calla.” He pulled me closer, tilting my chin up. “Be with me. Tell me it’s what you want.”I couldn’t tear my eyes from his. “What I want?”“Yes. Anything, everything you need, I’ll give you. Always. I promise. Just tell me one thing.”“What?”“That you want this, us.” His voice dropped so low I could barely hear him. “That someday you’ll love me.”My hands began to tremble where they rested around his neck. “Ren, you know we’re going to be together. We’ve both known that for a long time.”He gave me a hard look. “That’s not what I’m talking about.”“Why are you asking me this?” I tried to pull back, but he held me against him.The glimmer of a smile appeared on his lips. “Why not?”My temper flared. “Are you trying to say that you love me?”I meant it as a challenge rather than a serious question, but his eyes seemed to catch fire.“What do you think?” He touched his lips to mine, softly at first, gradually building pressure, parting them.”

“Lately I've been thinking about who I want to love, and how I want to love, and why I want to love the way I want to love, and what I need to learn to love that way, and how I need to become to become the kind of love I want to be. And when I break it all down, when I whittle it into a single breath, it essentially comes out like this: before I die, I want to be somebody's favorite hiding place, the place they can put everything they need to survive, every secret, every solitude, every nervous prayer, and be absolutely certain I will keep it safe. I will keep it safe.”

“It feels like a lifetime ago that I was saying goodbye to you...God, I miss you. I love you so much, Natalie, and when I get home I’m going to keep loving you until you tell me to stop. But don’t, please. Don’t tell me to stop. I love you.With everything.”

“Tell me you’ll come back for the pack. For me.” His eyes were bright with tears. “I don’t want to lose you.”