“Ann Coulter is living proof that you can’t make a silk purse out of a horse’s ass”

“Sarah Palin is living proof that you can't make a silk purse out of a horse's ass.”

“One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear.”

“Make a little room in your plans for romance again, Anne, girl. All the degrees and scholarships in the world can’t make up for the lack of it. ~Aunt Josephine to Anne in Anne Of Green Gables”

“Trying to figure out why Radley’s such a horse’s butt is all." "It’s a course we take at the academy," that deep voice said from beside her. She looked up to see Radley’s dark eyes staring down at her. Her face flushed before she could prevent it. "Being a Horse’s Ass 101. I got an A+.”

“Every job has parts of it that are a giant pain in the ass - whether you carry a penis or a purse.”