“While I prepared to poison my girlfriend, I sorted through the previous day’s post”

“I couldn't deal with my ex and his new she-devil girlfriend being all up in my face and him trying to be friendly and her trying to poison me with her existence...”

“I feel like a millionaire on the back of an armored jet-ski my samurai girlfriend who loves me is charging at a cartel speedboat to win a game of chicken. Isn’t this the day’s best part? You don’t even have to remember to enjoy it. It enjoys you into itself.”

“I was very pink and young and English; and quite prepared for a Continent complete with poisonous drains, roast frogs, bedbugs and vice.”

“I think your girlfriends getting Jealous," Luce said, gesturing at the pair."Which one?" He asked."I didn't realise they were both your girlfriends.""Neither is my girlfriend. I meant, which one did you think was my girlfriend?”

“Instead, I woke early the next morning, before sunrise, and went out into the world. I walked past my car. I stepped onto the pavement, still warm from the previous day’s sun. I started walking. In bare feet, I traveled upriver toward the place where I was born and will someday die. At that moment, if you had broken open my heart you could have looked inside and seen the thin white skeletons of one thousand salmon.”