“Becoming an adult is all about accepting that you didn't know anything when you were a kid.”

“People cheer on tyrants for fear of becoming targets.”

“Learn to be embarrassed by little and sorry about even less.”

“No matter how you twist and turn, your ass is always in the back.”

“If you don't laugh at the crazy things, you're liable to lose your mind.”

“I'm not saying you're weak, but you brawl like a couple of girls having a pillow fight.”

“Everyone hated Calculus. Quadratic equations, parabolas, logarithms, trigonometry - you name it. It was like floating in an endless, frictionless void traveling at x miles per hour at a descension rate of one half the speed of gravity. Solve for x.”