“Can I get a two-thumbs up for a fatter America?”
“Dante and I were the last two boys in America who grew up without television.”
“Stop listening to the TV tell you about America the beautiful . . . get up and be America the beautiful.”
“I plugged the hole up with my thumb, so at least I wouldn’t sink. But it was really uncomfortable floating on that lake with my thumb up my ass.”
“I love America and I hate it. I'm torn between the two. I have two conflicting visions of America. One is a kind of dream landscape and the other is a kind of black comedy.”
“Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.”