“His heart beat so rapidly it might burst; he kept telling himself everything was fine so long as he remained a giraffe.”

“I had a quack in the floor. So, I had to use ductile.”

“People cheer on tyrants for fear of becoming targets.”

“No matter how you twist and turn, your ass is always in the back.”

“Everyone hated Calculus. Quadratic equations, parabolas, logarithms, trigonometry - you name it. It was like floating in an endless, frictionless void traveling at x miles per hour at a descension rate of one half the speed of gravity. Solve for x.”

“Can I get a two-thumbs up for a fatter America?”

“Love happens in the strangest places at the strangest times.”