“I'm not saying you're weak, but you brawl like a couple of girls having a pillow fight.”

“If you don't laugh at the crazy things, you're liable to lose your mind.”

“Everyone hated Calculus. Quadratic equations, parabolas, logarithms, trigonometry - you name it. It was like floating in an endless, frictionless void traveling at x miles per hour at a descension rate of one half the speed of gravity. Solve for x.”

“All of life is like raindrops on the window; some stick around for a little while and some just fall right out of the picture.”

“A great man will experience more failures than successes. If we lived for the successes, we would have all killed ourselves by now.”

“Becoming an adult is all about accepting that you didn't know anything when you were a kid.”

“No matter how you twist and turn, your ass is always in the back.”