“A dog is like a person—he needs a job and a family to be what he’s meant to be.”

“It's the family you choose that counts.”

“Family' is not just a biological word, it's an an operative one.”

“The Humane Society of America thinks Michael Vick should have a dog. I think whoever's in charge there should have a lobotomy.”

“He said when the Lord made people He made them all the same for starters. But life marks people. If you know the way, you can read them like maps.”

“In my world, people are always plotting. Youhave no idea of all the crimes people in business commit everyday. Like it was nothing. Or there’s a set of special rules for them.Remember when Bush made that whole speech about ‘corporateethics’ last year? What a fraud. You think stuff like Enron orWorldCom is an aberration? It’s only the tip. Business is a religion.Probably the only one practiced all over the world.”

“He had the radio turned to some Spanish-language station at a volume that reminded me of the holding tank at Riker's Island - and for an added touch of authenticity he screamed 'Maricon!' and waved his fist out the open window at another driver who had the audacity to attempt to share the road with us.”