“I wanted to ask her what the fuck was wrong but I had a date with a pack of skittish whores.”

“I want to disabuse people of the idea that knowledge is power. Knowing how to get to Detroit is not the same thing as having the bus fare.”

“He had the radio turned to some Spanish-language station at a volume that reminded me of the holding tank at Riker's Island - and for an added touch of authenticity he screamed 'Maricon!' and waved his fist out the open window at another driver who had the audacity to attempt to share the road with us.”

“The Humane Society of America thinks Michael Vick should have a dog. I think whoever's in charge there should have a lobotomy.”

“Perfection cannot be achieved by men," he told me. "Our highest calling is the pursuit of perfection. My haiku will be finished when I die, but it will never be perfect.”

“Be he the first to stand or the last, a man must stand," the father had told his adoring son. "And if there is only one man, then that man must stand alone." ~Thomas to Bruce Wayne”

“A dog is like a person—he needs a job and a family to be what he’s meant to be.”