“No, I don't want you to leave. I'm just grabbing your coat and nudging your toward the door for fun #AHOLE”

“Wearing that personal trainer nametag doesn't make you right #AHOLE”

“Unless you're under 12 or into role playing, you shouldn't be wearing Mickey Mouse ears #AHOLE”

“Ticketmaster saying that their fee is a "convenience" is like a rapist calling his raping a "favor”

“I'm not afraid to die; I just don't want to be there when it happens”

“[God] wants you to go home, look at your bucket of seed, and determine in your heart how much you'd like to sow. He wants you to consider thoughtfully your current circumstances, your life, your potential, and your finances. He wants you to involve your family. He wants you to pray about it. And then He wants you to come up with a plan.”

“I suppose I have a really loose interpretation of 'work,' because I think that just being alive is so much work at something you don't always want to do.”