“Ticketmaster saying that their fee is a "convenience" is like a rapist calling his raping a "favor”

“Wearing that personal trainer nametag doesn't make you right #AHOLE”

“No, I don't want you to leave. I'm just grabbing your coat and nudging your toward the door for fun #AHOLE”

“Unless you're under 12 or into role playing, you shouldn't be wearing Mickey Mouse ears #AHOLE”

“The power of a theory is exactly proportional to the diversity of situations it can explain.”

“all good books are bad!”

“I never understood why when you died, you didn't just vanish, everything should just keep going on the way it was only you just wouldn't be there. I always thought I'd like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I'd like it to say 'figment'.”