“Unless you're under 12 or into role playing, you shouldn't be wearing Mickey Mouse ears #AHOLE”

“Wearing that personal trainer nametag doesn't make you right #AHOLE”

“No, I don't want you to leave. I'm just grabbing your coat and nudging your toward the door for fun #AHOLE”

“Ticketmaster saying that their fee is a "convenience" is like a rapist calling his raping a "favor”

“The power of a theory is exactly proportional to the diversity of situations it can explain.”

“all good books are bad!”

“If I ever have to cast an acting role, I want the wrong person for the part. I can never visualize the right person in a part. The right person for the right part would be too much. Besides, no person is every completely right for any part, because part in a role is never real, so if you can't get someone who's perfectly right, it's more satisfying to get someone who's perfectly wrong. Then you know you've really got something.”