“I had a lot of dates, but I decided to stay home and dye my eyebrows.”
“I love to stalk. I love to stalk you real, real good. I took your name home after our date and we had the best Google session of my life.”
“It's a lot like a biology study date,' I told my reflection nonchalantly. 'Only... Without the biology and studying.'Biology study date...”
“If this was the date from heaven and I decided to release slutty Stephanie, I didn't want clothes on my floor or an ungroomed vagina to be my cock block”
“Suicide, I decided, hurt. A lot. Clearly, this had been a bad idea. I wouldn’t be trying that again.”
“Wait, Saturday night?" The ladder-backed chair creaked and I looked up as he leaned forward to eye me in growing suspicion. "I thought you stayed home."I shrugged and raised one eyebrow at him. "I thought I was human.”