“To all the revolutionaries fighting to throw off the yoke of tyranny around the world: look at British democracy. Is that what you want?”

“A jacketless Murdoch resumes his quiz, brushing off the assault as 'an overexcited autograph-hunter wanting to have his shaving foam signed.”

“Genghis Miliband roars up to the despatch box like a caged donkey.”

“Nice mix of Tory MPs saying this issue shouldn't be used for petty political pointscoring, & Tory MPs trying to score petty political points.”

“New Labour leader Ed Miliband announces plan to 'make this party slightly less unelectable by 2015'. He added: 'I am Ed, the Almighty One.'Defeated brother David Miliband overheard muttering: 'Now I know how Wayne Christ felt after little Jesus came along.”

“You can never predict what little things in the way somebody looks or talks or acts will set off peculiar emotional reactions in other people.”

“When people are ready to, they change. They never do it before then, and sometimes they die before they get around to it. You can't make them change if they don't want to, just like when they do want to, you can't stop them.”