“Virtue is its own punishment.”

“I read the newspaper avidly.It is my one form of continuous fiction.”

“Reading is not a duty, and has consequently no business to be made disagreeable.”

“The worst thing I can say about democracy is that it has tolerated the Right Honourable Gentleman for four and a half years. - MORE The worst thing I can say about democracy is that it has tolerated the Right Honourable Gentleman for four and a half years.”

“No amount of cajolery, and no attempts at ethical or social seduction, can eradicate from my heart a deep burning hatred for the Tory Party. So far as I am concerned they are lower than vermin.”

“We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over!”

“Oh my heavens!" said Julian's disembodied voice. "I seem to have pulled my big meaty hamstring! However will I deliver this basket of raw human flesh to the orphanage?”