“No Shep, I am serious. I need you to make me laugh again. I need us to be us. Shep and Lilly. Chocolate Muffin and Strawberry Shortcake. Us. Happy, silly, and free. Promise me you will make me laugh when all this is done,” I said and could hear the pleading in my voice. “I promise Lilly. I will make you laugh again. We will be us. We will be happy. Our son will be happy. He will laugh and be silly and free. I promise you,” he said before kissing the top of my head and I finally believed him. I believed in him”

“He said I could make him happy. Then I understood the cause of my sadness. I didn't want to make anybody happy. I wanted someone to make me happy. I knew that there was laughter and I wanted someone who could laugh with me. ”

“He shook his head and gave this laugh, a good laugh, and just looked at me. "You always this happy?""No," I said, laughing. "It's you. Every time I see you, I just...I don't know. You make me smile.”

“I haven’t heard you laugh like that in quite a while. I was glad to hear it. I’m tired of seeing you in pain.” he said. “I’m going to do my best to keep you from ever hurting again. That’s a promise,” he said, softly.I believed him. I leaned over to give him a kiss.“I love you,” he said once we’d separated. “Now let’s go home.”

“I need to know that you will be a good girl and not scream. Do you promise?” “I promise,” I said gritting my teeth, arching my back. I heard him laugh quietly as he moved his face back to mine. His mouth was on mine; I could taste the salty sweetness of myself on his lips…”

“I love who you are. Because you accept me for who I am. You make me laugh, sometimes even at myself. And you make me happy.”