“My butt has specific requirements for pants.”
“Your pants didn't get smaller, Mommy," I assured her. "Your butt got bigger.”
“Life lesson 2, Never tell a woman that those pants make her butt look big.”
“My butt has a maximum drive time of seven hours.”
“My combat action has commenced... I've pissed my pants, but only a little.”
“I see ridiculous stories about my butt, like how it has been insured. I feel like saying, "Hey, everyone has a butt. It's not that big a deal!" But I suppose it's flattering. Personally, I've always loved the curvy look. Even when I was a little girl and all my friends would be like, "Oh, my god, your butt's so big." And I'd say, "I love it.”