“Jeff and I signed a Jewish marriage contract, a ketubah, promising to cherish each other in the "way that Jewish men and women had cherished each other through the ages." This probably doesn't refer to King Solomon, who reportedly had 700 hundred wives and 300 concubines but much of the document was written in Hebrew so we really have no idea what we agreed to.”

“So that precious romance we fought so hard for and cherished so much, it's dead and gone. Maybe we can catch each other in the next lifetime, or maybe it's buried forever. But I will always, always be in love with you. As for the rest of what we have, we'll see that again soon. We'll make sure of it.”

“We see God and the devil blaming each other, and cherish the unspeakable belief that both of them are drunk.”

“...he would tell stories about the Holy City, about Solomon, a just king, a poet-king, a monarch with a thousand concubines. We weren't quite sure what concubines were, but we guessed: a concubine ... Concubines! One thousand! One thousand women in all colours and shapes - but all of them sexy, of course - one thousand - one thousand raving beauties lying side by side on a bed (what a bed! How wide it must have been!), all of them smiling, all of them reaching out their arms, all of them saying something in Hebrew - but the meaning was unmistakeable - "Come here, sweety." One thousand women. If one were to spend twenty, or fifteen minutes with each one of them, how long would it take to...? A problem that our math teacher never assigned us for homework...!”

“We liked each other so much we skipped marriage, and went straight to the divorce.”

“Your father and I haven't had this much quality time since our honeymoon.""So what?""So, what if we can't stand each other?”