“Ignoring Gray Porter is like ignoring an elephant in a tut. A really hot elephant in a tutu... a very manly tutu." -Jess”

“But ignoring Gray Porter is like ignoring an elephant in a tutu. A really hot elephant—in a very manly tutu.”

“I grab my bag and open the door, trying to ignore him. But ignoring Gray Porter is like ignoring an elephant in a tutu. A really hot elephant-in a very manly tutu.”

“Pretend-dating Gray Porter is going to be like pretend-dating a rainbow. Everyone looks at him all the time.”

“I want you to know if we die right now, I won't be able to distinguish if I've made it to heaven or not, because I'm already sitting here with you.. like this." -Gray Porter”

“As awkward as this moment is, I'm intrigued with the possibilities of what this could mean. Gray Porter holding up my bangs while I memorize the depth of his chin divot ranks at the top of my things-that-have-overly-surprised me list! I don't really have such a list. But when I get home, I'm making one.”

“Tatooine, huh? So awesome you know Star Wars facts,” he adds nodding. “Do you ever watch the animated stuff?” Grin. Grin. Grin. I'm seriously at risk of an old-style faint. Holy-WTHECK? My neck and cheeks are volcano-hot. My entire chest swarms with an uncontrollable butterfly attack. Butterfly riot. Butterfly massacre. Person slaughtered: Me. Method used: Dimple. The guy has a dimple. Of course he does. To match the Hollywood chin divot. To make the lump on my forehead pound even harder. Points for Gray Porter: 3,000,000-bajallion, trillion to the millionth power.”