“What do you have?”“Wine. Weak cider. Water. Whiskey.”“A veritable plethora of ‘W’ drinks.”“If I ever have walrus piss, I will offer it as well.”

“If anyone thinks that I amn't divineHe'll get no free drinks when I'm making the wineBut have to drink water and wish it were plainThat I make when the wine becomes water again.”

“Robert could piss in a cup and men would call it wine, but I offer them cold clear water and they squint in suspicion and mutter to each other about how queer it tastes.”

“I want to laugh hysterically into a bucket of water, have my humor imprinted on each water molecule and then drink the funniest drink ever.”

“Never be ashamed,’ he said. ‘Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.’‘How will I know which is which?’‘By the taste. You can only know a good wine if you have first tasted a bad one.”

“I want my writing to be as smooth as drinking a glass of water—pool water, with piss in it.”