“Sam. I've got news for you. Not every childhood trauma can be healed by finding the right penis."Sam looked devastated. He opened and closed his mouth, eyes wide, then suddenly slumped back against the railing, unable to support himself anymore. "You mean," his voice was barely a whisper. "All those romance novels lied?”

“...Bringing the very heavens close enough to touch.It was Zsadist.His eyes closed, his head back, his mouth wide open, he sang.The scarred one, the souless one, had the voice of an angel.”

“Well, you have now, Sam, dear Sam,’ said Frodo, and he lay back in Sam’s gentle arms, closing his eyes, like a child at rest when night-fears are driven away by some loved voice or hand. Sam felt that he could sit like that in endless happiness...”

“He made me pick a safe word." Nik peeked between his fingers. Sam's mouth was hanging open."Oh." Sam's voice was a whisper. More of the throat clearing. "What did you pick?"Not the question he'd been expecting. Nik looked up at Sam from under his hand."Lemonade.""Lemonade?" Nik nodded. "Do you like lemonade?""Does it matter? Yes, I like lemonade.""Shouldn't you have picked something you didn't like, to make sure there were no, um, inadvertent exclamations at an important moment?"He dropped his hand and stared at Sam. "Who screams out 'lemonade' in the middle of sex?"Sam blushed. Nik was momentarily grateful for his dark skin. "You'd be surprised," Sam mumbled.”

“She looks at Sam. 'Close your ears if you don't want to know what I suspect to be the sex of your child,' she says, and he blocks his ears.'It's Sam's?' Jonesey asks, surprised, just as he gets a message.'Where have you been, Jonesey?' Bernadette says. 'In La La Land?''Contrary to popular belief, I think it has no penis,' Georgie whispers to them while Lucia covers Sam's ears.Jonesey looks up from his text messaging, shocked. 'Poor little guy.”

“Hello, Samael,” she said, her voice like rustling silk. Sam was speechless. How did such a creature even know his name? He opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again. What to say? He had never been good at talking to girls –”