“I have no will of my own. Never did. Limp and lily-livered, I always obey - is it possible that's attractive to women?”
“The only Commandment I ever obeyed — 'Consider the Lilies.”
“Democrats—lily-livered, weasel-assed collaborators. ”
“Dear papa, I love you so much!' she replied, twining her arms around his neck. 'I love you all the better for never letting me have my own way, but always making me obey and keep to rules.”
“My wife is my closest friend. Sure, I'm attracted to her in every way possible, but that's not the answer. Because I've been attracted to other people, and I couldn't stand 'em after a while.”
“Why am I always attracting women who still slept with stuffed animals?”