“Thank you for the exquisite comfort of your kitchen floor.”
“No woman gets an orgasm from shining the kitchen floor. ”
“I'll be your puppy. What do you want me to do? Chew your slippers? Piss on the kitchen floor? Lick your nose? Sniff your crotch? I bet there's nothing a puppy can do that I can't do!”
“I walk into the kitchen, look at the typer down there on the floor. It's a dirty floor. It's a dirty typer that types dirty stories”
“The most comforting feeling ever is knowing that someone truly likes your entire existence. I feel that way right now. Thank you.”
“Thank you for lending me the use of your maid. I tragically lost my lady-in-waiting on our journey and found Cosme's presence such a comfort.”