“It is an ancient and venerated custom of people in my country to start a story by praying to a Higher Power."I guess, Your Excellency, that I too should start off by kissing some god's arse."Which god's arse, though? There are so many choices."See, the Muslims have one god."The Christians have three gods."And we Hindus have 36,000,004 divine arses to choose from.”

“Hindus, in their capacity for love, are indeed hairless Christians, just as Muslims, in the way they see God in everything, are bearded Hindus, and Christians, in their devotion to God, are hat wearing Muslims.”

“When I corrected her, I told her that in fact she was not so wrong; that Hindus, in their capacity for love, are indeed hairless Christians, just as Muslims, in the way they see God in everything, are bearded Hindus, and Christians, in their devotion to God, are hat-wearing Muslims.”

“And so, when she first heard of Hare Krishnas, she didn’t hear right. She heard “Hairless Christians”, and that is what they were to her for many years. When I corrected her, I told her that in fact she was not so wrong; that Hindus, in their capacity for love, are indeed hairless Christians, just as Muslims, in the way they see God in everything, are bearded Hindus, and Christians, in their devotion to God, are hat-wearing Muslims.”

“I'm at the age where i don't have to kiss arse or play nice!”

“I have never heard a lady say 'arse,'" the emperor said mildly."I haven't been a lady for long," I reminded him. A little demon–made of exhaustion and the emperors smile– pushed me into adding,"For five years I've been saying 'arse.' It's hard to stop saying 'arse' after that many years. I suppose I should stop saying 'arse,' since ladies don't say-""'Arse'," he finished for me. I met his grin.”